My Sister's Keeper
by Alonsus
Summary: My Sister's Keeper meets Twilight. Bella has had cancer her whole life. Alice is expected to give her a kidney, but Bella won't let her. Bella doesn't want to prolong her life anymore, she's accepted her inevitable death. Then she meets Edward. AH.
1. Alice

Disclaimer: I do not own My Sister's Keeper, or Twilight

Warning: Spoilers for My Sisters Keeper.

_It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people really are good at heart.___

_- Anne Frank_

**Alice **

Most babies are accidents, mistakes, the result of a drunken night, or because birth control isn't one hundred percent. Not me. I was made for the sole purpose of saving my sister. Bella has acute promyelcotic leukemia. Actually, that's not quite true—right now she doesn't have it, but it's there hiding under her skin, waiting to flare up again.

She was diagnosed when she was two; she's seventeen now. I'm an allogeneic donor—a perfect sibling match. When Bella needs leukocytes or stem cells or bone marrow to fool her body into thinking it's healthy, she gets them from me. Nearly every time Bella's hospitalized, I end up there, too.

As I am walking through to the lounge my mother sticks her head out of the kitchen.

"Ah, just the girl I wanted to see." She says, giving me a small smile.

My mother could be beautiful, if she were parachuted into someone else's life. She has long dark brown hair and the fine collarbones of a princess, but the corners of her mouth turn down, like she's swallowed bitter news, which she has, and plenty of it. She doesn't work, because she needs to be there for Bella if she should develop a bruise or a nosebleed, but I know she once dreamed of owning a bakery. Dad told me she used to bake all the time. She doesn't really do it that often anymore, only if Bella requests something, or special occasions like Birthday's and Christmas'. That's the sacrifice she's had to make.

"Can you set the table for me?" She asks. I watch her rush around the kitchen. I can see she's satisfied being there. All food has to be steamed, organic and germ-free, so Bella doesn't get sick. I'm about to respond but before I can agree to help, my mother goes perfectly still. She holds up a hand, shushing me. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Bella."

"I didn't hear anything."

But she doesn't take my word for it, because when it comes to Bella she doesn't take anybody's word for it. She marches upstairs and opens up our bedroom door to find my sister hysterical on her bed, and just like that the world collapses again.

"Bella!" My mother sinks down to the floor, the skirt of her dress a cloud around her. "Bella, honey, what hurts?"

Bella hugs a pillow to her stomach, and tears keep streaming down her face. Her breathing's too tight. I stand frozen waiting for instructions: _Call Dad. Call 911. Call Dr. Jones. _"It's Preston," she sobs. "He's leaving Serena for good."

That's when we notice the TV. On screen, a blond hottie gives a long look to a woman crying almost as hard as my sister, and then leaves out the door. "But what hurts?" my mother asks, surely there has to be more to it than this.

"Oh my _God_," Bella says, sniffling. "Do you have any idea how much Serena and Preston have been through? Do you?"

That fist inside me relaxes, now that I know it's all right. Normal, in our house, is like a blanket too short for a bed—sometimes it covers you just fine, and other times it leaves you cold and shaking; and worst of all, you never know which of the two it's going to be. I sit down on the end of Bella's bed. At different times this summer she has been crazy for Callahan, Wyatt, and Liam, the male leads on this soap. Now, I guess, it's all about Preston.

"There was the kidnapping scare," I volunteer. I actually followed that story line; Bella made me tape the show during her dialysis sessions.

"And the time she almost married his twin by mistake," Bella adds.

"Don't forget when he died in the boat accident. For two months, anyway." My mother joins the conversation, and I remember that she used to watch this soap too, sitting with Bella in the hospital.

My mother gets up, standing in front of Bella. "You're sure nothing hurts?" Bella shakes her head quickly.

After my mother leaves, Bella sinks a little. That's the only way to describe it—how fast color drains from her face, how she disappears against the pillows. As she gets sicker, she fades a little, until I am afraid one day I will wake up and not be able to see her at all. "Excuse me Ali," Bella says. "You're blocking the picture."

So I go to sit on my own bed. "It's only the coming attractions."

"I know but if I die tonight I want to know what I'm missing." She says with a cheeky grin. I smile back weakly, not really finding the humor, but really I know, it's the only way to deal with our situation.

I fluff my pillows up under my head. My mother, as usual, has swapped them so that Bella has all the expensive ones that don't feel like rocks under your neck. She's supposed to deserve this, because she's three years older than me, or because she's sick, or because the moon is in Aquarius—there's always a reason. I squint at the television, wishing I could flip through the stations, knowing I don't have a prayer. "Preston looks like he's made out of plastic."

"Then why did I hear you whispering his name last night into your pillow?" Bella jokes.

"Shut up," I say.

"You shut up." Then she smiles at me. "He probably is gay, though. Quite a waste, considering the Swan sisters are–" Wincing, she breaks off mid–sentence, and I roll toward her.

"Bella?"

She rubs her lower back. "It's nothing."

It's her kidneys. "Want me to get Mom?"

"Not yet." She reaches between our beds, which are just far enough for us to reach each other if we both try. I hold out my hand too. When we were little we'd make this bridge and try to see how many Barbie's we could get to balance on it.

Suddenly all resentment I may have been harboring is gone, because when I really look at the situation, I know, that it's not my sister's fault and I love her too much to be mad that things are the way they are.

"Sissy, I need you to do something for me. If you do this for me, I promise it's the only thing I'll ever ask for again." Bella whispers. I listen to her request in silence. After she's finished she looks at me with so much pain that I want to look away, but I don't. "Please." She begs.

"Okay," I whisper my throat feeling tight, "I'll do it."

I was born for a very specific purpose. I wasn't the result of a cheap bottle of wine or the heat of the moment. I was born because a scientist managed to hook up my mother's eggs and my father's sperm to create a specific combination of precious genetic material. Once I was old enough my parents sat me down and explained that they chose little embryonic me, specifically, because I could save my sister, Bella. "We loved you even more," my mother made sure to say, "Because we knew exactly what we were getting."

It made me wonder, though, what would have happened if Bella had been healthy. Chances are, I'd still be floating up in heaven or wherever, waiting to be attached to a body to spend some time on Earth. I would certainly not be part of this family. See, unlike the rest of the free world, I didn't get here by accident. And if your parents have you for a reason, then that reason better exist. Because once it's gone, so are you.

To reach my brother's room, you actually have to leave the house, which is exactly the way he likes it. Emmett moved into the attic over the garage three years ago—a perfect arrangement, since he didn't want my parents to see what he was doing and my parents didn't really want to see. Blocking the stairs to his place are four snow tires, a small wall of cartons, and an oak desk tipped onto its side. Sometimes I think he sets up these obstacles himself, just to make getting to him more of a challenge.

I crawl over the mess and up the stairs, which vibrate with the bass from Emmett's stereo. It takes nearly five whole minutes before he hears me knocking. "What?" He asks, opening the door a crack.

"Can I come in?"

He steps back to let me enter. The room is a sea of dirty clothes and magazines and leftover Chinese take–out cartons; it smells a bit like sweat. The only neat spot is the shelf where Emmett keeps his special collection—a Jaguar's silver mascot, a Mercedes symbol, a Mustang's horse—hood ornaments that he told me he just found lying around, although I'm not dumb enough to believe him.

Don't get me wrong—it isn't that my parents don't care about Emmett or whatever trouble he's gotten himself mixed up in. It's just that they don't really have time to care about it, because it's a problem somewhere lower on the totem pole.

Emmett ignores me, going back to whatever he was doing on the far side of the mess. My attention is caught by a crock pot—one that disappeared out of the kitchen a few months ago – which now sits on top of Emmett TV with a copper tube threaded out of its lid and down through a plastic milk jug filled with ice, emptying into a glass Mason jar. Emmett may be a borderline delinquent, but he's brilliant. Just as I'm about to touch the contraption, Emmett turns around.

"Hey!" He practically flies over the couch to knock my hand away. "Al, I don't want you touching that, your supposed to be the pure one in the family."

"Is that what I think it is?"

"Depends, what do you think it is?" Emmett laughs and throws a t-shirt over it. "So what can I do for you?"

I shrug my shoulders in a casual manner. In trying to save Bella, my parents, they had always forgotten Emmett. He would do anything for us, but he found out a long time ago it doesn't matter much, so now he doesn't even try. Emmett and I have always had a special relationship, with us both being in the same boat. We both love Bella, but we knew what it was like, and we were there for each other. It was worse for Emmett, with the little attention I got it was hard to imagine he got less.

"Is this a social call?" he asks, sitting on the arm of his couch. "Sick of the house? Here to ask if there's room for you to move in?" He gives me a lopsided grin. "If it was something about Bells, you would've already told me."

"Actually, it is about Bella." I stare into my lap. "Her kidney's are failing, I'm sure of it."

"Fuck. Why now." He mumbles shaking his head in anger. He looks up and notices me. "Sorry, Al," Emmett says. "I apologize for the language. It just makes me so _angry_." Emmett bangs his fist onto his knee.

"It's okay Em. I know me too."

A few moments of silence passed before he speaks again.

"So when she's going back in?"

"I don't know, she hasn't even told mom yet."

"What? Why not?" He shouts angrily.

"I dono, maybe she'd rather pretend that she isn't going to have to go through a huge life changing operation." I grimace.

"Oh, I'm sorry Al; I know this isn't exactly fun for you either. How are you holding up?"

"I'm scared." I answer honestly.

"I know, but it's going to be alright. Just think about all the time off school you'll get, and ice-cream and jelly for weeks! You're gonna be in heaven Al."

"I guess, but will it hurt?"

Emmett looks at me with sadness in his eyes. "I'm not going to lie to you Al, I think it will hurt for a while."

"I thought so, but Em, what if I don't want to do it anymore?"

"You don't want to do what?" Emmett asks, although it looks like he already knows.

"The kidney donation, what if I don't want to. What if, I want to think about myself for once?" He listens, then looks me right in the eye. _His_ eyes are the palest shade of silver, so surprising that sometimes when he stares at you, you can completely forget what you were planning to say.

"Don't mess with the system, Alice," he says bitterly. "We've all got our scripts down pat. Bella plays the martyr. I'm the Lost Cause. And you, you're the Peacekeeper."

"Says who? I don't want it to be this way. I never asked for this!"

"Come _on_, Al! This is _me_ you're talking to. If I thought you were telling me the truth, I would support you, you _know_ I would! This _isn't_ you though. Tell me the _truth_. What is this _really_ about?"

Damn, I knew he'd never believe it. He knows me better than anyone. I feel the tears building up in my eyes. I squeeze my eyes shut, and when I open them my vision is blurred, it makes it easier to say what I need to say. "It's Bella. She wants to die."

Emmett stares at a spot on the carpet for what feels like a very long time. I fidget with my fingers nervously.

"We're going to lose our sister, you realize that?" Emmett finally asks.

"Yeah, I know." I say as a tear runs down my cheek. He nods a few times then turns his back to me. I think that maybe now would be a good time to leave. A strangled sob escapes from Emmett, my whole body freezes up. Pretty soon, I'm an emotional mess as well.

Emmett walks over to me and encompasses me in a tight bear hug. I cry into his chest and he holds me tighter. We stand there for ages, falling apart together. After a while Emmett releases me and wipes his eyes of the sleeve of his shirt. Though his eyes are red and slightly puffy, I know that I won't see him cry again. He'll be strong for both us.

"Alright," he says in a shaky voice, "let's go see, Bells."

**AN:** At the moment this story is very similar to My Sister's Keeper, and as the story get's on I'm going to try to get away from that, and make it more my own. I just need to set the story. Although, in mine you find out very early that it's Bella, who doesn't want Alice to give her a kidney, still her parents don't know though.

**Characters:**

**Charlie Swan-** _Based on Brian, the father_  
><strong>Renée Swan-<strong> _Based on Sara, the mother_  
><strong>Bella Swan-<strong> _Based on Kate, the sick sister_  
><strong>Emmett Swan-<strong> _Based on Jesse, the brother_  
><strong>Alice Swan-<strong> _Based on Anna, the IVF sister_

**Carlisle Cullen-** _Edward's Father, Bella's Doctor_  
><strong>Esme Cullen-<strong> _Edward's Mother, Designed the hospital_  
><strong>Edward Cullen-<strong> _Based on Taylor, the love interest of Bella/Kate (also has cancer)_  
><strong>Rosalie Cullen-<strong> _Edward's Sister, love interest of Emmett_  
><strong>Jasper Cullen- <strong>_Edward's Brother, love interest of Alice_

_Not sure if I'll use these guys yet:_

_**Aro Volturi- **__Based on Campbell, the lawyer for Alice/Anna (I might not use a lawyer, tell me what you think, I should do)  
><em>_**Jacob Black-**__ In a gang that Emmett gets involved with (Could get too complicated. What do you think, could do like a possible crush on Bella, or is that getting kind of old/boring. Basically asking, any fans of Jacob?)_

Thanks for reading.

Please ask questions, make suggestions, and point out errors, or just leave a comment. I'd like to hear it.

Alonsus.


	2. Emmett

Disclaimer: I do not own My Sister's Keeper, or Twilight

Warning: Spoilers for My Sisters Keeper.

_If you're alive, there's a purpose for your life._

_- Rick Warren _

**Emmett**

I am the lost cause of the family. I know it, and everyone else knows it. Once, Alice caught me playing with matches and Alcohol. The alcohol was all over the floor, burning blue. I figured she'd run screaming to mom and dad like a tattle tail, but she didn't. Instead, she sat down on the edge on the bathtub; she reached for the alcohol and splashed some of it into the shape of her initials, and told me to do it again.

Alice is the only proof I have that I was born into this family, instead of dropped off on the doorstep by some random couple. On the surface we're polar opposites. Under the skin, though, we're the same: people think they know what they're getting, and they're always wrong.

At home, my mother is having a nervous breakdown. As soon as I pull up in my parking space she flies out the door. "Thank god," she says. "I need your help."

She doesn't even look behind her to make sure I am following, and that is how I know it's Bella. We enter my sisters' room to find her lying still on her bed. She looks half dead already, then suddenly she jerks up and a fountain of blood pours out of her mouth. Her shirt, her face, her bed, there is blood everywhere.

"Jesus Christ," I say. She looks terribly fragile.

"Emmett, I can't reach your father at the station. I need you to drive us to the hospital, so I can sit in the back with Bella."

"Sure." I mutter, as she picks up my sister and hurriedly makes her way downstairs.

My mother bustles Bella into my car, carrying a small Ice-cream container. I've started the engine and I'm just about to pull out of the driveway, when I jerk my head around to look in the back. My mother is sitting on the left side, and Bella is lying across the seat with her head on my mother's lap. I can't help but curse, sometimes this family can be so frustrating. I know that Bella is always my mother's first priority, but I thought she would at least remember her other daughter.

"Unbelievable mom," I sputter as I turn off the engine. I _say_ that it's unbelievable, but really it's really not. Alice and I have been rotating positions between being the one who's forgotten nearly all of our lives. I remember the first time they forgot Alice. We were already at the hospital and we were rushing Bella inside for an abnormal nose bleed that wouldn't stop. Bella, pulled the almost fully red towel off of her face, looked at our mom, and in her six year old way said: "Where's Ali?" I remember in that moment, time stood still. Then all of a sudden, my mom broke down crying on the floor, effectively breaking the spell. My father rushed out of the hospital so fast, it was as if he was gone in the blink of an eye. I knew it was probably unreasonable, but I was so mad at my mom, that I decided to ignore her. I lasted for about a day, and the saddest part was that she didn't even notice.

How do you make an excuse, for the fact that you left your _three_ _year old_ daughter at home by herself? The answer is you can't. That is bad parenting. How much better is it when it's your six year old son? Your eight year old son? Your ten year old? I'd say from the age of five to the age of thirteen I was left behind more than a hundred times, and every time afterwards, they'd apologize and hug me, and it almost made up for the fact that they'd forgotten in the first place. It was worth it for those two minutes or so of attention.

They'd say: _it will never happen again_. It did, but they always said it, right up until I turned thirteen. Then it wasn't a case of being forgotten, it was: _Emmett, you'll be okay on your own, won't you?_ I wonder why they'd even ask, it wasn't like I had any choice. They'd meant on your own _at home_. But for me it was just a reminder of what I'd always been. On my _own_. And it was then, that I decided that my younger sister would never go through the same fate as my younger self did. Forced to grow up well before my time. I would make sure that she was never forgotten, even if I was.

A year later, I moved out of the main house, and into the attic above the garage. I told them it was because I needed my own space, but I think it was more because I was sick of being right under their noses, but never even being acknowledged. For a while they would come out and check on me, say goodnight, but then Bella's cancer came back and it stopped. I locked my self away, got a job, started ordering take out just so I could avoid my family, and started hanging out with the wrong type of people, doing the wrong kinds of things. I even started smoking, which I swore I'd never do just in case my kidney would be able to be donated to Bella. My dad would sometimes come out and ask me to join them for dinner or something, but my mother was too busy with Bella.

She did however come to me when she wanted me to look after Alice. I didn't mind though. In the beginning it might have felt like an obligation, but Alice is my best friend, my world, and I enjoy the time we spend together. We have a lot of rules in our house. One of the hardest, is that we aren't allowed to bring friends to the house. This is my fault, really. When I was eight, I had my friend James over after school. It was really fun. I remember we ran around in the back yard playing tag, and we played with our Lego pieces together.

Bella was interested in what I was doing and came and asked to play with us. I said no, because I was a brat of a brother back then. She cried, and mom forced me to let her join us. James kept sneezing, and with the swapping of the Lego after coming in contact with his infectiousness, it was passed onto Bella. I don't know what James had, but Bella got it bad. She was sick, hospital sick, for about a month.

After it was all over, mom said that no one that wasn't a part of this family was to come over. At the time I was so mad, I felt like it was a personal punishment for being born. It didn't affect her because she didn't have any, but I could tell dad didn't like it. He did have friends. I didn't make any friends after James. I figured what's the point. Eventually, when I was sixteen I left school. Got a job delivering pizzas. Not the best, but I didn't have the qualifications for anything else.

Alice, kind of grew up with this rule. Never got the chance to bring a friend over, mom doesn't really let her go out either. It isn't really fair. But what is in this family?

But, I don't resent Bella either. Technically, she's my older sister, but only by about three minutes. People always think that I'm years older as she only comes up to my chest. I have blonde hair to her dark brown, and green eyes to her brown ones. It's kind of mocking that we're twins but we're nothing alike. I'm depraved for attention and she's crowded by it. She's sick and I'm not. Boys are somewhat more likely to develop leukemia than girls; I've thought about this a lot. Cause really it could have been me. Would I rather it was me? In a way, yeah. I'd do it for Bells. I would. But I'm not jealous. I was once, but I'm not anymore. How could I be, when I've seen what she's gone through?

Bella and I are not a compatible match, that is what the doctor's told my parents. That is why they had another child. I can't even begin to explain how bad that makes me feel. I can't save my sister. Who am I kidding, I can't even save myself.

I'm at the door, unlocking it when my mother opens her own door and rushes over to me.

"Emmett! What are you doing? If you've forgotten something then it'll just have to wait. Your sister is more important." She shouts at me. I let her finish, because I know it's going to hurt really bad then I tell her what _she's_ forgotten.

Alice and I have been the ones who have had to wait our whole lives. _Screw it_, I think to myself. I walk inside and start to look around. My mother follows me in, she's panicking. It reminds me that Bella's the one waiting this time. I ignore my mother and continue my search, it leads me through to the upstairs lounge, where I can hear the TV going faintly, and I open the door to see my younger sister sprawled across the couch.

I let out a relieved sigh, glad to have found her. As gently as my mother had picked up my sister, I lift Alice up into my arms, careful not to wake her. She's always been a bit of a deep sleeper, part of the reason she always gets left behind. My mother is always so fast, and you have to be too if you want to keep up, or she'll get too far ahead of you and leave you behind. It seems the only person she waits for is Bella.

I carry her carefully, looking at my mother for a fraction of a second. I see that she looks embarrassed, and her eyes are slightly red from crying. If someone had just walked into our lives right now, they might think that she was truly sorry. I know better. She hasn't cried at the prospect of leaving her fourteen year old daughter behind, who by the way is absolutely terrified of being home alone at night, she's just embarrassed that she made a mistake and the tears are left over from my other sister. What does that have to say about her as a mom?

I feel like yelling at her, a lot. I feel like shouting: _You have two daughters, not just one. I know you only wanted one, but can't you at least pretend to care about her, just for the sake of this family? For her?_ But I know that if I started I'd never stop. I'd end up making it about me, and right now it's not.

I walk past my mother, pulling away from her when she reaches for Alice. _No, mom. Why should I give her to you now? Just so you can feel better about yourself? You don't deserve her._ I know that if I give her over she'll be able to convince herself that she didn't forget. I want her to suffer a bit. She can't just decide to be a mom whenever it suits her.

I tuck Alice into the seat next to me, she's still asleep. Good. At least she'll never have to know about her mother failing her yet again. My mother is back in her seat, like nothing has changed. We haven't said anything to each other yet. I don't plan it. I have nothing to say. Nothing she'd want to hear. I pull out of the driveway, six minutes later than I should have, because _my mother,_ isn't the mother that she should be.

Last night, when my parents were having some stupid argument about medical bills. Bella came to visit me. She wanted me to watch a movie that was on TV with her, because she couldn't hear a thing above their shouting. I said, _no_. I said, _that I had stuff to do_. Now, as I run through red lights, I'm wishing that I'd watched that dumb movie with her. You'd think that with all the time I've had to get used to it, that I'd be used to things like this. But all I can do is ask myself over and over: is _this it, is this it, is this really it? _

The minute we drive up, my mother's out of the car, hurrying inside with Bella bleeding in her arms. My mother doesn't need us anymore. In about five seconds it's just me and Alice. I scoop Alice up and walk through the entrance casually. She probably looks like the victim. Alice is not sick, but she might as well be. By age fourteen she has undergone countless surgeries, transfusions and shots so that Bella, can somehow fight the leukemia that has plagued her since childhood.

There's a new doctor, some leukemia expert I don't know, which is rare by the way. He tells us what we've already figured out: _Bella's kidneys are failing._ My mother stands next to the bed, her hand tight around Bella's IV pole. "Can you still do a transplant?"

My breath comes up short, and I glance at Bella. The doctor thinks for a moment. "Bella is in a pretty grave clinical state now, we could try, but the odds are even slighter now."

Bella's eyes are open; she's staring right at me. She licks her lips—they're still covered in blood—and it makes her look like a vampire. The undead. If only.

I lean close to her. _Help, Alice._ She mouths. I twist around to my mother. She curled over in a chair with her head in her hands. I look over to Alice. She's resting her head on the arm of a chair and her legs are tucked into her stomach, she looks so tiny, I feel tears building up in my eyes, as I remember the conversation we had a few days ago.

It's me, Alice, and Bella alone in their room. I'm standing by the door. Alice is sitting on her bed, and Bella is on hers. No one's talking anymore. We're all on the verge of tears. None of have the power to be strong.

"I want you guys to let me go." Bella finally says. Alice is the first to crack. A loud sob erupts from her.

"No," Alice cries. "I can't." She sobs.

"Please, Al. Do it for me." Bella pleads, her own tears silently spilling over.

"You know, if there was _any_ other way. I'd do it." She insists, her own face a mixture of grief, but still no sounds come from my twin.

"But there is, Bella, please take—" Alice begins to say, but Bella shushes her. She takes a deep breath, and it comes out in a heavy sigh. "No Ali, that's not an option."

"Lie down, for me will you." Bella asks. Alice stares at her for a few seconds, but nods and wipes at her eyes as she lies down on her bed. Bella does the same. I should leave, but I go to move and find that my feet are frozen to the spot. They lie there for a while as Bella waits for Alice's crying to subside.

"Mom and dad are going to kill me. What am I supposed to tell them?" Alice asks.

"Tell them you're important too. Tell them you want to play soccer. Tell them you want to cheerlead."

"They'll never believe me."

"Yeah they will, and you wana know why? Because it's _true_."

"Oh boy." Alice sighs. It makes me smile. I'm smiling, but tears are streaming down my face.

Bella looks over to me and gives me a sad smile. I look away unable to meet her eyes. I bite my bottom lip, to stop myself from crying out. I've never been the kind to ever let my feeling's show. And I thought that being strong meant never losing your self-control. To hell with my pride, right now, I wanna cry.

"Do you mind if I talk to Emmett alone, for a minute?" Bella asks Alice. She shakes her head, and gets up and leaves, closing the door behind her.

My older sister motions for me with her finger; it makes me crack a smile, although it's the last thing I feel like doing.

"Don't do that." I say as I try to control my voice.

"Do what?" she asks innocently, but then she puts on a cheeky grin.

I shake my head, although I smile back. "Please, don't make me laugh when I'm so mad with you. Not at a time like this." I say.

She nods, but she doesn't say anything. A little hiccup in my breathing occurs. My vision is blurred and my throat is burning, but I pretend like everything's alright.

"Alice told me that you don't want her kidney. Why, Bella, why? Please, explain this to me in a way that makes sense to me. Cause right now I have no idea why you're—" I break off as my throat tightens, and tear threaten to fall from my eyes.

"Em, I'm sorry. I can't really explain it. It's just that when you know, you just know. I'm not doing this to hurt you."

"I know! But it still hurts that you are!" I do not raise my voice, I could never, not to my sister, but the emphasis is there.

"I'm breaking this family apart. It's just time. What happens if my body rejects Alice's kidney. What's going to happen? Are mom and dad going to go at her for the other one? I just don't want it to be like this anymore." She says. I marvel the way she's able to keep her voice so controlled, and she still sitting perfectly straight.

Me, I'm falling apart. "Don't fucking do this, to me? I don't want to put my sister, under the ground!" I sob. I'm going for it now, loud obnoxious crying, my nose is running. I stop crying for a second and start again two times harder.

"You're my twin! If you die, I die!" I say hysterically sobbing.

"No, you won't Em. You're going to live for both of us." I want to tell her that it's not fair. She can't that of me, because I need her to be in my life. She rubs my back in an effort to comfort me. It just makes me sob out loud, and I struggle to control my breathing. It feels like the worst kind of pain in the world. Now, that I'm faced with the reality. _My sister is going to die._ I squeeze my eyes shut. Shutting out the world.

"It's so stupid that I'm the one breaking down on you, when you're the one who's going to—" I trail off, as a new set of sobs rack through me.

"It's not stupid, Em. I'm just glad that for once, it's not all about me. I'm so sorry." she says over my cries.

I cry out in pain, it's as if she's stabbed me, and I suddenly feel guilty for all the times I've wished she'd just go away. She holds me while I cry. I finally think I'm ready to pull away so I do, but then I burst again and I tuck myself away again to cry some more. It feels like hours before I stop, and my sister just soothes me by talking softly and rubbing my back.

Eventually, I stop. But the pain doesn't go away, my eyes are just rubbed raw and I've run out of tears. My sister has a huge wet patch on her shirt, but she doesn't complain.

"You scared?" I ask.

"No. I know I'll be okay."

I nod. "I think so too." As much as it pains me, I say it. "I'll miss you _so_ much." I wrap my arms around her once more. I feel like I've cried more today, than I have in my whole life.

"I'll miss you more." She whispers.

"Impossible." I protest. She just laughs in response.

"This doesn't mean, I'm just going to say yes, and make it that much easier for you." I mumble.

"I know." She says. "That just wouldn't be you." We both laugh, even though it hurts.

I pull out of the memory; I'm back in the hospital room. My sister is waiting, for my answer. Tears threaten my eyes and I try to blink them back. I look in to my twin's eyes, which only bring the tears out further. I think about everything we said. I thought I'd have more time than this, but she needs her answer now. I'm tempted to shake my head; _No, I'm sorry, but I can't help you this time._ I know she'd understand. But, in reality I can't do that to her. _I'll do it._ I mouth back. She smiles, and looks at me like I've done the nicest thing in the world, and not just signed her death sentence. _Thanks, Em._ I can only nod, in response.

"Hey, I'm going to go for a drive, I'll only be a short time." My mother nods, and I run to my car. Inside my car, I do what I so badly need to do. I scream, and cry and let it all out. Then, I drive as fast away from this place as I can.

_AN: So we end with Emmett in a bad way, and Bella needing a kidney more than ever now. It's no secret anymore. She's sick, and without it she'll die. And poor Alice! Seriously bad parenting going on here._

_Once, when I was eight and we were on holiday in San Francisco, I got left in a hotel room by myself. When I woke up I was extremely distressed and consequently cried my eyes out, before I got brave enough to search the hotel and found my parents, who are younger than most (teenage pregnancy), playing in the games room. Scarred me for life. Only joking. Kinda. So I couldn't do it to Alice, she had to come along._

_I should be updating soon. A week at the most. Depends how creative I feel. I write at night. Just thought I'd mention that. It is amazingly easy to do, and quite often I find I've written all through the night._

_Please ask questions, make suggestions, and point out errors, or just leave a comment. I'd like to hear it._

Alonsus 


End file.
